As I write this, I am under major external duress. From who or what, is something I cannot tell for I have no idea.
Anyway, there’s always an exchange of questions between genders every now and then. And one of the common question from the frustum wearers to ball bearers is. “What do men want?”
I will answer that, as a man who feels we are often misunderstood by our beloved ladies.
Now ladies, listen and listen keenly. I am only going to say this once. JUST ONCE!
There is a difference between a man and a boy. A huge difference. But y’all progesterone ridden creatures seem not to tell them apart! A man’s wants and those of a boy are totally different.
How?
Look at your younger brother and your dad, then tell me what you see. Feel free to bombard the comment section with your observations.
Anyway, here’s what any man in his right mind would want from a (read HIS) woman:
A woman who knows what she wants.
At times, I am forced to believe that some of these overgrown girls with mounds on either sides of their sterna have no idea whatsoever of whatever it is they want in life. As long as their armpits are clean shaven and their phones can take awesome duck-face selfies, life’s good!
You see, we all live for a purpose. Even if it is cleaning lavatories.
A woman who’s totally clueless of what she wants in life is one hell of a turn off. I mean, how do I live with someone who’s only worry is why Cynthia always looks better than her in those groupies (I hear they are called selfies)!?
It’s simple. Just know what you want to do with your life. It could be the only reason you are (will be) still single and lonely at 40.
Oh! And when you finally figure out what you want in life, work for it! Don’t just sit on that butt and wait for things to happen. Make them happen.
A keeper
When I say a keeper, I do not imply a boyfriend/hubby maniac who wants their better half to be always by their side. I mean a woman who knows how to keep his man wanting her more and more despite them being together for Blaise Pascal knows how long.
Mind boggling huh?
Let me elucidate.
Men love adventures. Hitting on you was one of those. Falling in love with you was something else I’d rather not talk about. But if you thought he binned his spirit of adventure when he eventually managed to sweep you of your feet with his Romeo antics, shock on you! The demon of adventure in men never dies. That’s why we are buried in suits. Just in case we come across a Kim Kardashian in the world of the dead.
Simply put, sensible men want a woman who knows how to keep that spirit alive.
I would expound further, but it is not universal. Just get to know your man and you’ll figure it all out on your own
Humility
And now nit-picks will come gushing as if I’ve nicked a jugular vein.
I will say it anyway.
Every man, no matter how arrogant expects his woman to be humble.
Gender equality? That’s only found on the sun. If you wish to live in a land where gender equality is a reality ensure your fallacy-ridden self is aboard the next space shuttle. Do not forget to jump off when you pass by the sun. Gender equality is as real as ogres and you know it.
Deal with it.
Deal with it.
Do not get me wrong. There is a difference between humility and stupidity. You are at liberty to draw the line between the two anywhere you deem fit.
Truth be told, there’s nothing as intriguing to a man who’s out to look for a life-time partner than a humble woman. Those arrogant ladies only interest us when we are out hunting for night-time partners. Tell me, do you think any man in his right senses would wife a woman who’s as arrogant as her drunk father? He’d rather marry the father anyway.
Drop the arrogance. Try being humble and watch miracles happen in your life.
Ha-ha. I’m kidding. Miracles are as dead as Moses. But you will definitely need an umbrella because… wait for it… IT’S RAINING MEN!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YbRASlEMqw&w=320&h=266]
Be useful
I am really struggling to tame my diction on this one.
Other than religiously making your legs divorce so as to usher in some foreign piece of flesh with blood flowing within it at a speed of about 0.5M/S (meters per second), women can be useful in a whole lot of ways.
Always make your presence felt. In any other way other than throwing tantrums like an offended tot.
And please know there’s a difference between being useful and being used.
Be wise.
Once again, it is your sole choice on what to do. Mine is just to bring it to your attention
Quit boozing
Simple and clear.
Keep drinking and get married to that bottle of Jameson.
Keep drinking and get married to that bottle of Jameson.
My dad once told me, “Son, you know girls of nowadays drink like their fathers but can’t cook like their mothers. Be wary. Do not marry a Janie Walker.”
I laughed. Hard!
I thought that was one of his numerous chauvinistic jokes, but the look on his face was a piteous one. It’s all clear now. Papa’s words ring in my head every time I run into an intoxicated female.
I thought that was one of his numerous chauvinistic jokes, but the look on his face was a piteous one. It’s all clear now. Papa’s words ring in my head every time I run into an intoxicated female.
SPACE
I saved the best for last.
YES! SPACE!!!
I do not know how women want this laid out. Do we have to dissect it and show you the interiors for you to actually believe it?
As a matter of fact, space is the 2nd most valued necessity among men.
Correction. It comes 3rd(just after oxygen and sex in that order).
I will not write these 500 words banging against my skull demanding to make an appearance on this blog post because it is as simple as that.
GIVE US SPACE for Neil Armstrong’s sake!
I would write a whole book on this issue but I already hit my 1000 word limit so I will just stop there. I believe I have mentioned what most men have been dying to say.
I would write a whole book on this issue but I already hit my 1000 word limit so I will just stop there. I believe I have mentioned what most men have been dying to say.
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