A LETTER TO MY UNBORN CHILD(ren)

Hello dear one(s),

Its daddy again. I’m sorry to stir you from wherever you are hiding awaiting retrieval.
Anyway, I was wondering if you guys have been keen with what’s happening around us. I bet not. You are too busy planning how to escape.

Therefore, daddy has decided to have a little tête-à-tête with you before you come around.

My daughter, it is my wish that you to grow up to become a respectable young woman. A lady of integrity who respects herself and loves herself for who she is.

You see, when you finally leave the comfort of wherever you are, you will most likely hear words like bleach, fake butts/hips/hair/eyelashes, make up and a dozen other things to “spice” up your appearance. Kindly keep off such. Someone somewhere will always appreciate you just the way you are.
I’ll always get you enough clothes to cover you up. Leave as much as you can to their (men) imagination. Don’t display all your “wares” unless of course he’s slipped a ring on your finger and both of you say “I do.”
Assuming you find the sugar daddy frenzy still lingering around, kindly refrain from joining the bandwagon. You don’t want to lose so much to a man who’s daddy’s age mate.

And you, my son. When you come around you only have to do one thing. Make as much (legit) money as you can. The rest will follow. No questions please. You’ll find out what I mean later on.
Oh! I forgot. Be wise on how you spend that money or else it will be your downfall, and always respect women.

Finally, I know I’ve said this like a million time but I’ll still say it again anyway. Daddy will never let you suckle intoxicated milk from a tattooed breast. That I promise.

Remember, daddy loves you so much.

With love,
Daddy.