Recently, social media has gone haywire with news of “socialites” and their fast lane lives on the pinnacle of life. I mean, these people are living (or rather they want us to believe) lives that most of us only see in Hollywood movies. Lives that even the crème de la crème of the society had to work for so hard, yet they are barely 30.
The source of their wealth? Their rump.
Hold it! I know you’ll defend them saying they are beautiful and intelligent. Poor you. What has become of that hot geek sister of yours? Isn’t she still living at your mom’s house? If beauty and intelligence was the main bargaining chip for these girls, don’t you think your sister would probably be feeding y’all now?
Anyway, far from that, what I mean is that these “socialites” are really capitalizing in their hind quarters since most of them are ass-matic. Ha-ha. I know they don’t carry inhalers around. That’s what asthma is mainly about. Right? Now these is a different kind of asthma. The kind where one has so huge a bum that people will think you’re bending over yet you’re standing as straight as some recruit somewhere on parade in Kiganjo.
This new breed of females have discovered that most men (straight or not) have a thing for ample sitting allowances. You know the kind of thing that makes you want to break a bank just to get whatever you want. It gets better when your backside is all round and firm. And who said it must be natural? If nature isn’t on their side they just rush to some cosmetic shop somewhere along the streets of River Road and get a fake ass. Then VOILA! They’re ready to work.
Armed with a camera (or camera man for the lucky few) they click away into opulence. Thanks to the media, these women have the perfect platform to display their wares.
As a result, every girl who has no life and often depends on her ‘idol’ to give her a reason to see tomorrow follows suit. She’s flat on the back but she wants a major parabola just below her very slender waist. So what does she do? Try all ways possible to turn that pimple *chuckle* into a fully-fledged arc.
That probably comes after she gets tired of bailing out on men just before they undress her because, well, that very curvy butt is not legit. The things these girls will to get a jaw-dropping ass is just unbelievable. I’d pray for them, but then that never works on Kenyan girls. I mean, how do you pray for someone whose life is basically a sin? Ladies don’t throw those handbags me. Stones will do just fine.
…to be continued.
Nick, you know nowadays we have a goo way of sugar coating sin to make it appealing to as many as possible. Kitambo we would have called this absolute prostitution; but in this digital era, we call them “socialites” “escorts” . Kenya we got to open our eyes…
I agree. A lost era and generation we are.