LOST

© Martin Investigative Services, private investigators, www.mar

He’s sitting at his study desk hazily gazing at his pc screen hoping that her face just might show up from nowhere. If only he could see her one last time.

The emptiness within him is totally unfathomable despite being the proud owner of a full tummy.

But what does he really want? What is it that he is lacking?

Then it all comes back to him.

Her last words. Her arm movements as she handed over the house keys. And then the silence that followed.

Deafening.

To be honest, letting her go was not any of his intentions. He actually dreaded losing her.

But she had made it clear she was tired of crying and repeating the same thing over and over again. Her desire to be treated better were clearly stipulated during the one-hour talk that ended up with her departure.

But he knows himself too well to make another promise. He’s had enough of making empty promises that he never keeps. Not because he does not want to, but because he is painfully forgetful. A busy schedule does not make things any better.

The sight of her crying always made him cringe. It shook him to the very core and he hated it with all his heart. If only he could be that perfect boyfriend.

But then she could have been too good for him.

He does not deserve her.

She deserves someone better.

Someone to treat her like the queen she is, a task he had had a tough time undertaking.

As soon as she banged the door behind her on her way out, reality dawned on him.

She was walking away. From him.

From his life.

Heck! He was not going to let her leave just like that so he followed her calling out her name. But she did not respond.

Or may be she did. She walked faster. He must be such a germ! She ignored a voice she was already too familiar with. She was fed up.

“I’ve messed up real bad this time round. Things might never be the same again”, he contemplated as he sulked his way back to his dungeon of a place, now darker and emptier than ever. Her scent lingers around, mocking him for loosing such a gem.

Her keys lying on the table look lost. He picks them up and they feel even colder. The life in them is long gone. They no longer gleam as they used to when they were hers.

He tries convincing himself that all will be fine yet deep down he knows he’ll have a couple of sleepless nights. No tears. Just bitter-sweet memories of the past 15 months.

She said money had changed him. It had made him different in all the wrong ways. She no longer came first in his life for he was too busy chasing paper.

May be she was right. He was a busy body. Always up to something more so if there was cash involved.

But you cannot blame him. He wants to feature in best 40 under 40 before he turns 30. He wants his future family to have the best money can buy, without him having to be too busy for them.

May be dating at such an early age was a mistake. “Actually it is! “, Shouts the go-getter in him.

He is not at peace. He wants to talk to someone and laugh about random dumb stuff.

Then it hits him!

He has no friends either.

At least not the kind of friends you talk to when you feel like you are inches away from insanity.

Okay. Fine.

He’ll just sit back and do what he does best, making money.

Fighting the myriads of thoughts of her flooding his mind will be an uphill task but he will do it anyway. He will do it for himself. He will do it for his future. And he won’t stop till he gets where he has always wanted.

He feels lost. But in due time he will find himself and emerge a better soul. Hopefully.