Ours is a digital era. An era where the internet has become a basic need. I remember a friend of mine joking that they’d rather go hungry than lack internet access. A stupid joke, but I kid you not. Someone out there shares the same sentiments.
Now, my problem is not the World Wide Web.
As a matter of fact, I am very grateful to Robert Elliot “Bob” Kahn and Vint Cerf for inventing the Transmission Control Protocol (TCP) and the Internet Protocol (IP), the fundamental communication protocols at the heart of the Internet.
My bone of contention is the people who have decided to use technology, more so the internet, for sexual satisfaction.
Before you start cringing (if you are 70+ years or live under a rock) at the thought of having sex with someone who is not physically present, Id wish to make it known that it is becoming a major addiction to people below the age of 40 years.
I wonder what they mean when they say life begins at 40. Ha ha.
Anyway, sex chatting, commonly known as sexting is one of those man-made phenomena of the 21st century. A phenomena so baffling that it has attracted the attraction of a legion of social scientists.
HOW IT HAPPENS
Once again, for the archaic lot, I am your knight in shining armor.
This is exactly how your 18 year old daughter/sister has been “making love” to Mike, the 38 year old guy who lives half a globe away.
To become “sextually active”, you only require a phone that can text faster than you get rid of your pants when answering a call of nature, an overly perverted mind as well as total understanding of the sext acronyms.
The first two might be a walk in the park but the last one is an uphill task. It will make you feel like you are learning the alphabet all over again.
On to it.
It’s 8pm, the family has just had supper, and she has just excused herself to retire early for bed since she is feeling a tad too ill to stay up with the rest of the family. So y’all wish her a goodnight in the most sympathetic tone your stupid selves can summon, praying to the gods that she’ll be fine by morning. You even make a mental note to check on her later on in the night. Before you can actually ask her what she is ailing from, the lass is already turning her door knob locking herself in her room before jumping into bed with her phone firmly clamped in her small palms. Time for some 50 Shades Of Grey action.
“Hey, IWSN :-)” she texts Mike who has been waiting on her for the last 20 minutes since he had received a CODE 9 status after asking Nicole to GNOC.
“GYPO cherry pie. How do you want it? 8 may be?” comes the reply before she jumps out of bed and takes a few clicks of herself (mostly from her neck downward to somewhere slightly above her knees) on her camera phone which are then sent instantly to the dude who will most likely use them in his fapping drill later.
And the drill continues. Acronyms fly to and fro, slutty (okay. may be flirty as well) words are exchanged alongside very provocative emojis, and before long these two beings will be “cuddling” complementing each other of how great the sex was.
And that, ladies and gentlemen is the crazy world we are living in. A world where sex is readily available, regardless of the time or place. With no strings attached. I call it casual sex.
As much as we’d want to deny it, sex chatting is a problem. A huge one which if not looked into will eat away the remaining sanity in the society. It might seem fun at first, but I bet my laces no one would fancy getting addicted to having sex without touching at all.
It is basically having sex with your phone for crying out loud!
But I wouldn’t be surprised if I ran into someone who’s totally fine with it. I mean, there’s a lady who’s dating a tree. Right?
Enough said. I will let you be the judge. I am no moral cop.
Here’s a list of common acronyms used in sexting. They will come in handy for parents with extra smart teenagers as well as those idiots who want to try out sexting.
Remember, I am only responsible for what I say. Not what/how you understand it.
- 8 – Ate/oral sex
- 143 – I love you
- 182 – I hate you
- 1174 – Nude club
- 420 – Marijuana
- 459 – I love you
- ADR – Address
- AEAP – As Early As Possible
- ALAP – As Late As Possible
- ASL – Age, Sex, Location
- CD9 / Code 9 – parents are around
- C-P – Sleepy
- F2F – Face-to-Face, a.k.a. face time
- GNOC – Get Naked On Cam
- GYPO – Get Your Pants Off
- XOXO – Hugs And Kisses
- ILU – I Love You
- IWSN – I Want Sex Now
- J/O – Jerking Off
- KOTL – Kiss On The Lips
- KFY/K4Y – Kiss For You
- KPC – Keeping Parents Clueless
- LMIRL – Let’s Meet In Real Life
- MOOS – Member(s) Of The Opposite Sex
- MOSS – Member(s) Of The Same Sex
- MorF – Male or Female
- MOS – Mom Over Shoulder
- MPFB – My Personal F*** Buddy
- NALOPKT – Not A Lot Of People Know That
- NIFOC – Nude In Front Of The Computer
- NMU – Not Much, You?
- P911 – Parent Alert
- PAL – Parents Are Listening -or- Peace And Love
- PAW – Parents Are Watching
- PIR – Parent In Room
- POS – Parent Over Shoulder -or- Piece Of Sh**
- Q2C – Quick To Cum
- RU/18 – Are You Over 18?
- RUMORF – Are You Male OR Female?
- RUH – Are You Horny?
- S2R – Send To Receive
- SorG – Straight or Gay
- TDTM – Talk Dirty To Me
- WUF – Where You From
- WYCM – Will You Call Me?
- WYRN -What’s Your Real Name?