Before I start typing away on my keyboard, I wish to state categorically that this article is completely random, purely based on what the campus environment has fed me.
Let’s admit it. Life on campus would be boring without these people. I mean, imagine attending a lecture without that periodic interruption from that chille who walks in the lecture hall wearing high heel shoes that are always at loggerheads with the floor. Or better still, imagine a class without that periodical treat to an ever so intentional sneak peek of thigh-land.
After spending a considerable period of time on a couple of major campuses around, it is only safe to say that we have various categories of campus ladies. I’ll just shed light on a few before some ratchet comes for me with a worn out stiletto.
1. The “Shagzmondo”
In this category, we have those ladies who come from the interiors of the interiors of our country. Just so you get the weight of how interior they hail from, these ladies will always strive to look like the choir attire of their local church. I’m yet to see a choir with a monochrome attire.
The number of times these ladies have interacted with modernization is less than the number of fingers on their left hand. Then voila! They land in campus and mingle with some uptown ladies. And the metamorphosis kicks off.
These are the types of ladies you’ll spot gully creeping in high heels along university pathways. I mean; they are so used to walking barefoot they can barely walk comfortably in a pair of Bata Ngomas, but since her roomie from “Nai” looks jaw-drop gorgeous in those six inch heels, she decides to try them on and ends up looking like a calf trying to suckle a moving giraffe.
2. The Divas A.K.A Miners (gold-diggers)
This category of ladies mostly comprises of ladies from urban areas. Not necessarily major cities in the countries.
They live life on the fast lane and have probably drunk more than their 40 year old uncles will ever drink. Mind you, they are less than 25 years.
They rock outfits that their moms only see in magazines and adorn expensive jewelry despite the fact that they are always in school, well, except when they are hanging out with their “sponsors”.
Divas will always be in groups and they are all “besties”. And are the rowdiest group of frustum wearers you’ll ever come across, more so when they’ve just converted a bottle of Johnny Walker to Johnny piss. Oh! And they rarely attend classes.
Universally, a diva is basically a lady who works to fend for herself. But do not be fooled. There are NO divas on campus hence the A.K.A!
3. The Acrobat.
*cough*
These are probably the deadliest lot on campus even though they are liked by many members of the opposite sex.
A typical Acrobat campus lady will part her legs faster than it takes them to shout “i’m not safe” amidst moaning and humping. She’s the type of lady who will sleep with every Dick, Dick and Dick. Sorry. I mean Tom, Dick and Harry.
She has no regards for societal norms and will grant access to her loins anyone she likes at any time, at times for no reason at all.
Sometimes she becomes a bit entrepreneurial; and uses what she has to get what she doesn’t have, but even then she still derives untold pleasure. Its more of a win-win situation.
Needless to say, these are the ladies who compile a list of men they’ve slept with!
I choose not to write anymore about these ladies before one of them decides to lay me into silence. I’m not interested.
4. The Ambitious Lady.
She is the kind of lady you’d have no qualms introducing to your mum as your wife to be.
Reserved and dignified, she always carries herself in a manner that suggests she values herself and is completely aware of her goals in life.
Saved or not, she only engages in responsible behavior and activities. But that does not mean she doesn’t have fun. Actually she has more fun than any other lady because after it’s all done and said, she still remembers what happened.
This is the type of lady fellas go for when they are looking for lifetime partners. Of course that comes after they’ve messed up the “shagzmondo” or got messed up by the acrobat/diva.